it actually is week 3 now!

oops i knew this would happen... been away a little. But I'm back so here is a brief update on some of the things I have learnt in the last 2 weeks...

Bearing in mind we work from 9am through till between 5 or 7pm with back to back lessons there is too much to report on everything individually but I want to 'home in' on a couple of stand out moments and thoughts:

Firstly in poetry (this is really NOT the subject I thought I would want to write about the most and we only have 1 hour of it a week so I don't know where this is coming from but here goes...) We had to bring in a poem that means something to us. These are then read and discussed - we look at the shape of the language and the ideas it presents us as well as how it presents them - but mostly we talk about the ideas and what it inspires in us.
I decided to bring in a hymn

O lord my God
When I in awesome wonder, consider all the worlds thy hand has made
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder
Thy power thorughout the universe displayed

Then sings my soul, My saviour God to thee
How great thou art, How great thou art

And when I think, that God, his son not sparing
Sent him to die
I scarce can take it in
That on the cross, my burden gladly bearing
He bled and died, to take away my sin

Then sings my soul, my saviour God to thee
How great thou art, How great thou art

When Christ shall come
with shouts of acclamation and take me home what joy shall fill my heart
Then I shall bow in humble adoration, and there proclaim
My god how Great Thou art

Then sings my soul, my Savious God to thee
How great thou art, How great thou art

Then sings my soul, my saviour God to thee
How great thou art, How great thou art

Although it felt like absolutely the right decision to have picked this, when it came to the moment of reading it in front of my new classmates I was suddenly petrified and rushed through it. We talked about it a bit and somehow Patsy drew out of me some passion for it and I talked about why it was important to me. She then went on to talk about; and this is whether you believe in Christianity or not; the image of a father giving up his son is a very powerful one.

In the midst of feeling nervous I managed to express that 'sings my soul' was spot on in expressing how over-awed I do feel about what I believe God has done for me... now in a drama school setting this is probably erring on the side of insane to talk about! However, the class were really supportive and when I read it through the second time, taking my time over the words and really meaning them I was over come and I was crying as I read it. This is not normal behaviour for me; I like to keep my cool and remain proffessional but this wasn't about 'delivering lines' it was about connecting to the text.
Patsy asked me if I knew that was going to happen to me - I answered no and I was thinking 'If I'd known that was going to happen to me I almost certainly wouldn't have read it the second time!!' The reason I wanted to write about that is because it has great significance for me. This is the second time at Guildhall (the 1st was during my recall audition) that I have felt the freedom and encouragement to actually connect with what I am saying on a level that creates a physical reaction. Now I'm not saying I want to be in tears for the rest of my career as I blindly 'mean everythiiiing I sayyyy' - I am just excited that at this point in my training I am being pushed to look at text so carefully, to dig deeper into how I relate to it and to express that freely.

This word 'connection' will come up a lot more in the future I think... the obsession is certainly continuing....